if you're feeling a bit lost...
“i want to put together a plan, but cant bring myself to do it. whats wrong with me?
i'm feeling a bit lost.
i want to share myself with the world but i don't know what to share.
are the videos i made dumb?
am i becoming narcissistic?
or was i always and just repressed it?”
I wrote that 6 years ago.
If I could’ve responded to myself then from the place I’m in now, here’s what I’d say -
(and here’s what I’d say to you, if you have been feeling similar things about your own process) -
If you can’t think of the plan yet, it’s because it’s beyond what you even think is possible.
Stop trying to make it happen in your mind, and instead take one step.
The more you dance through life, the more your path will organically unfold and reveal the answers to all the questions you’ve been struggling with.
Share the simplest thing.
Don’t try to share the best thing, or the most creative thing, or the thing that will get you a thousand likes on Facebook. Just share an honest piece of you and trust that your desire to share it is the only excuse you need. Trust that it will reach who it’s meant to. Trust that it’s leading you to something.
The videos you made are not dumb. They might not be the best quality or most popular creations ever, but they communicate something. They are stepping stones. They are part of your process. Keep making them. Keep sharing them. Without practice, nothing will happen. The practice of making them is your meditation.
Just because you want to share something that happens to involve you and your self-expression, it doesn’t make you narcissistic. You can share yourself and still stay humble. The way you do that is by staying connected to the message behind what you’re sharing and your highest and most sacred intentions.
Your boldness, your expression, the joy you share, will inspire someone else to be bold, express something, and feel joy.
That is healing in action. Think about the artists you love and who inspire you - how empty would life be if they chose to keep themselves hidden?
The only thing you’re repressing is the possibility for more healing, more joy, more creation. It’s not up to you to stop those things from flowing. Be the vessel, be the channel, and let creativity dance through you.
One day you’ll look back at this place and wonder why you worried so much.
Don’t wait til that day to give yourself the love and encouragement that you truly deserve.
You got this.
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I write this from the airplane returning from California, after teaching at Soul Camp West.
It’s not that I have it “all figured out” now - in fact, there are still so many questions and unknowns in my life.
What inspired me to write this is the perspective I now have.
It’s easy to be hard on yourself and think that you should be farther along than you are, or that you should have certain aspects of your life in perfect order. It’s easy to forget how far you’ve actually come.
Teaching at Soul Camp was a reminder for me. I got to facilitate dance for groups of people. I got to perform. I got to be seen as who I really am. I got to make connections with amazing humans. I got to live in between mountains for a few days.
I don’t know exactly what will come next, but I do know that if I hadn’t been posting my dance videos for the past 6 years, I probably wouldn’t have gotten these opportunities.
Ali & Michelle, the founders of Soul Camp, spoke at the closing ceremony when we were all circled up around the bon fire. Ali spoke about how she never imagined she would be standing there (in a unicorn costume!) doing what she was doing. She talked honestly about feeling lost in the past and struggling with what to do, reminding everyone that it’s totally normal and ok to not know. To keep going. To be led.
And I pass on the same wisdom to you.
Take time today to love your process.
Let go of the mental need to figure it all out right now.
And instead, just be in the now and express something that’s in you.
Step by step, with time, your wildest dreams will be revealed.
in love and loving you,
Jess