Crap.
I didn’t get everything done on my to-do list.
I had to reschedule that appointment.
I didn’t “work” enough today.
(“work” is loosely translated as sitting in front of the laptop pecking away at something that seems really important.)
If any of these words have come out of your mouth lately, GOOD!
It’s a sign you’re actually living life.
As I went through my week, I noticed how anxious I was to get this blog post and other writing done. I did not plan the topic in advance. I did set aside time to write, but the time kept getting moved or pushed aside because of other things.
The frustration and anxiety rose -
But why was I feeling that way?
Really, it came from a place of fear of not having enough time and wanting to just “get it over with” so that I could not worry.
Then on the B train on my way to visit a friend, it hit me and I pulled out my notebook to scribble:
The balance of living life vs. documenting it.
Your experiences lead you to the truth meant to be spoken (or written).
Your experiences - with the world, with other humans - are what bring you to your truth. Sitting in front of a laptop trying to think about what to write is not always the way in.
I thought about how much richness and learning were embedded in the experiences and conversations I had been having throughout the week.
Monday was an example -
Stuck at an airport for 8 hours, I put a lot of expectations on myself about how much time I should spent writing and getting that very important “work” done. I took a break in the yoga room (yes, SFO has a yoga room!) and it led to a dance break which led to making new friends and making a dance video:
I’m so happy I didn’t sit in front of my laptop, which seemed like the easier, more responsible option. Instead, I followed my impulse to move my body and connect with people and it was so fun.
So what if I didn’t get ahead of the game with “work?”
Maybe my “work” is in the moving my body and connecting to people. Can it be that simple? I think it can.
And I’ll say the same to you:
Follow the impulse and desire inside of you. The work you’re meant to do will reveal itself that way.
There’s a time to integrate and document your experiences - and that part is so necessary! But don’t force it or rush it. The more you LIVE, the more natural the documentation process will feel.
And one more thing -
If you’re not sure if your impulse or desire is aligned or the right thing to do in the moment, here a few questions you can ask yourself. I got these questions from an amazing teacher of mine, Amy Jo Goddard:
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Is it something I want to be, do, or have?
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Does it create more life for me and others?
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Does being, doing, or having it take me closer to my goal?
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Does it limit anyone’s freedom, choice, or well-being?
If you can answer YES to the first 3, and NO to #4, then it’s pretty safe to say that your desire is a GO.
Trust that impulse. Ditch “work” for a day if you need to. Be messy. Be truthful. Be connected.
And then take time to make art out of it all.
from the field of experience to you,
Jess